Yearning, Burning and Becoming
March 20, 2024
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Leadership and Me

At a dinner party this week, we were talking about the state of the world. Someone said, “Good political leaders are in short supply.” At first I agreed.

But then someone else said, “There are many good political leaders out there, but they are not getting elected.” That got me thinking, doesn’t that make us – all of us, the voters, the people – the real leaders?

All of Us are Leaders

All of us are leaders! In our many very different ways. As siblings and neighbors, parents and grandparents, as well as managers and teachers. 

When we organize a monthly coffee for our street or local community, that is being a leader. When we speak up about something we care about, we are leading. Sometimes a NO is needed, other times a clear YES please.

We don’t need to have power, a position, or be acknowledged – to lead!

Doesn’t everything we do make a difference? Have an effect on others?


It seems to me that leadership is actually about awareness. We can follow rules in an obedient unthinking way, or we can follow healthy rules when everyone else is breaking them, with awareness, clarity and kindness? 

Leadership doesn’t need to be loud, provocative or rebellious. It doesn’t need to be attention seeking. We can lead from behind, lead quietly, in service to the whole. We can set an emotional, energetic, behavioral tone. 

What matters is not just what we do, but how we do it!

Choice and Effect 

Perhaps the question is what kind of influence we want to have on others? Positive or negative?

We can let our stress spill out, hurting others. In our favorite cafe last week, a woman made a huge scene about her coffee. She shouted, insulted and threatened the barista. She banged her coffees down, spilling them. She said, “I just want you to serve me.” I stood up and told her to back off! What price is the pleasure of perfect coffee? Distress for another person for the rest of the day? Briefly we became in that coffee shop a small temporary community. After she stormed out, I waved my hands soothingly downwards near the barista and customers right there. Someone thanked me, as she was still shaking. Another person at the next table, turned to us to ask, “What will her witnessing children think, feel and behave like in future? How long did the ripples of that small incident continue?

Or we can take an interest in the people around us, making them feel noticed and appreciated? We can make people helping us on the till in a shop, or the guard on a train, smile or laugh. We can walk down the street in a way that wafts good vibes, as we pass people they might feel uplifted, without knowing why. 

In Chaos Theory, the Lorenz (or butterfly) effect understands that the things of the world are interconnected. One small occurrence can have a ripple effect on other more complex systems. Everything has an effect.


Doesn’t good leadership begin beforehand, with leadership of our own self? Nourishing self with good choices and habits. Like keeping the kitchen clean. Exercising. Eating good food. Meditating. Drinking enough water. Dancing, singing or laughing. Being with friends. Enjoying color. Etc.

All the wonderful personal development we do – is not just for ourselves. It’s for the benefit of our partners and children, colleagues and teammates, cats, dogs and plants. It is to be ready to act – ready to have a positive affect – on others, our community and world. Ready to play our unique part!

Conscious Contribution

All of us – in very different ways are leaders – we choose how we contribute.

We can live with self-love and love. We can lead in service. 

What kind of leader are you? What would you like to become? 

Everything matters.

Julia Paulette Hollenbery
Julia Paulette Hollenbery
Julia Paulette Hollenbery is an Embodied Spirituality Teacher, Speaker and Author. Her book, 'The Healing Power of Pleasure: Seven Medicines for Rediscovering the Innate Joy of Being' is internationally published by Findhorn Press and is available to buy everywhere. Julia offers group workshops and individual sessions, bringing people into their authentic joyful confidence, for happy relationships, productive work and vibrant health. She has worked with numerous clients over 25 years, with The Grinberg Method, Craniosacral Therapy, Family Constellations and Kashmiri Tantra. She sees people in a way they have probably never been seen before, profoundly with acceptance and love. She invites people to envision and embody their potential. Julia is passionate about sharing her life-long love of the mystery, real sensual relationship and the life of the body. She is mother of a fiery young daughter, loves to dance wildly and spend quiet time in forests and oceans.

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